So You're in a Wedding
Podcast Transcription
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Hi everyone! Thanks for joining me for another episode of PFCU’s Money Talk, I’m your host, Maddy. I’m in a wedding this year and I thought I would take the opportunity to get into the preparation and the budgeting it takes to be in wedding because honestly, it can get kind of expensive. And we’ve talked about planning a wedding before from the perspective of a bride or the mother of a bride. You can take a listen to those two podcasts from back when I first started several months ago, if you would like but I wanted to talk about being in the wedding party. According to a 2022 Lending Tree survey, being in a wedding costs an average of $825. 50% of those in a wedding party have incurred debt because of it and 56% have felt pressured to spend more than they can afford. So, I thought this would really be a great topic to just go over some things to be aware of and some tips.
And I know it might not be the biggest expense that you ever have but it’s still important to prepare. Now most of the time, the bride and groom are going to be planning pretty early and hopefully they keep you in the loop pretty early as well. You know, things like travel, anticipated expenses and just general expectations. And just make sure to keep communication open between you and the bride and groom. So, if you have concerns, if you have questions, if you, you know, if they have expectations that you just can’t quite make happen then just keep that communication open.
And before I even start, I just wanted to say that I think that the minute you know you’re going to be in a wedding is the minute that you should start to plan and budget. Chances are, you’re going to have months if not a year, year and half, two years to start preparing. That’s quite a long time, a lot of weddings, you know, most of the time weddings don’t happen in a couple weeks when you find out you’re going to be in the wedding party so take that time, take advantage of it to start preparing. You know, start estimating costs like travel, attire, gifts, things like that. And I know you’re not going to know the exact cost of everything but it’s at least good to get a nice cushion started.
Okay, so first and probably one of the most obvious things is your attire so what you’re going to wear. And in my opinion, I feel like the cost of bridesmaid’s dresses from when I got married seem to have gone down a lot. Online shops with easy ordering and size guides make it easier than ever. To me it seems like the days of actually going to the bridal shop for a $200-$300 dress are a thing of the past and now you can get great quality, online for under $100. For my dress, also when I got it, it was too long so I went to a seamstress who actually worked out of her house and she did an amazing job, it took her two days and it costs me $25. So, look for those little cost saving opportunities, things like that. So, with everything, just so you guys can get a gauge, you know I want to be open with how much I’ve spent – with shoes, alterations, the dress- I probably spent a little over $100. And for a point of reference according to The Knot, the average bridesmaid’s dress costs about $130.
So next up is the wedding and bridal shower gifts. And please know that I don’t think there is a right or wrong amount to spend here and I know there’s like the typical, average amounts you can find if you look it up on Google but I really feel like it’s based on your budget. We typically do anywhere from $50-100 for a wedding gift and then a little bit less for a bridal shower or any sort of shower gift. So, it really depends on what works in your budget, what your finances look like at the time, what you can afford. I hate to put pressure on anyone to feel like they have to spend a certain amount, I think the bride and groom are going to be appreciative of whatever you can give. And if you can, it’s always a great option to go in on a gift, like a group gift with a bunch of people. You can give a certain amount of money and then they will gift one big gift from the group.
Alright and next up is hair and makeup. Hair and makeup can vary quite a bit. Sometimes they’re paid for by the bride but if these are your expense, see if you can either opt to do it yourself if it’s not within your budget. For example, for me, I decided to pay to get my hair done because I can’t, I just can’t do my own hair. It would just look not very good but I decided to do my makeup myself to save a little bit of money. If the bride doesn’t have a preference then that’s a great option. So again, look for those small opportunities to save a little bit of money, if you need to.
And of course, there’s travel, whether that’s travel for the bachelorette party, the rehearsal, the bridal shower, the wedding itself, that’s going to eat up a lot of your budget. If everything is super close to you, that’s great, that’s one less thing that you have to worry about. But with gas prices higher than they usually are and with flight costs, the expenses can really get up there. About 55% of bridal party members traveled by plane to a prewedding event or for the wedding itself. I hope you will know right away if you’re flying or not, whether the bride or you live out of state or the bride and groom have dreams of a destination wedding, you might have a good idea of whether or not you’re going to be flying or driving by car so you can start saving for this piece early. And if you need to get a hotel room or take an uber to get around, you could split the cost with some other members of the bridal party by sharing a room, sharing a ride, that can really bring your cost down. And please remember, if you do want to use a credit card, just plan for it. There’s nothing wrong with using a credit card, it can be great option for booking flights and things like that. Just make sure you are able to pay it off right away and don’t use it as an excuse to overspend or spend more than you’re able to pay back.
Okay, now let me ask you this to wrap everything up, do you think you can you turn down an invitation to be in the wedding party? I would say, yes! And according to that same survey by Lending Tree, 19% said they turned down an invitation and more than 2/3 of those respondents said it did not impact their relationship with the bride or groom. And I don’t think anyone wants to turn down an invitation to be in a bridal party but at the end of the day, you have to do what’s right for you and of course, I always hope that means that with a little extra budgeting and planning that you can do what you want to do, that you can be in the wedding or whatever that might look like for you.
But I’m so excited for the upcoming wedding that I am in, it’s coming up quick, super exciting and I do wish all the best to all those that are getting married in the near future and for all of those wedding party members to have a great time, have fun and enjoy supporting your loved ones. That’s all I have for you guys for this episode, thank you so much for tuning in and I will see you next time.
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